How language learning can improve mental health!

And because of this kind of weekly theme, this overarching theme, there won't be that many segments this week, so, uh, you don't have to worry about skipping or tapping or anything. I'm just going to be riffing about mental health basically, and if that's not something you're interested in, then, you know, listen in next week again, where hopefully I'll be talking about something more, um, upbeat. But I think this topic is something that needs to be discussed and it needs to be talked about because that way we can all improve and get better. So, with that without further ado, let's get to the show.

And before we do, I just want to give a quick thanks to Glossika for sponsoring the actual fluency podcasts. They are also sponsoring the main show, which is a an interview style show where I interview an influencer or an expert or someone with a great story in language learning. You can check out that on actualfluency.com/podcast. Uh, but yeah, Glossika, a really cool of them to sponsor me. This is just a trial. So if you like the podcast, if you like what I'm doing and you want to support Glossika for for for sponsoring it, give their free version a try on try.glossika.com and see what you think. There's 50 languages available, audio, sentence-based courses. It's pretty hands-off, so give it a try.

Alright everyone. The topic of the week is mental health, because it's mental health week. And I've been thinking a little bit lately of the importance of mental health and the importance of having it out in the open.

And to give you a little bit of context of why it matters so much to me, we can go back to about, hmm, sometimes it's hard to know how much to go back, but when I was 15, actually, I want to go back a little bit further and not to make this, you know, all about my personal, uh, story, but, uh, and some of you would have heard it before anyway, but I think it's important to give context to how some of these issues can arise. Um, when I was very young, I would guess I was about 10 or 11 maybe, maybe even a little bit younger. I lost my dog, which was a very, you know, sad event. It was a extremely cherished companion, a very loved member of the family. You know, I would, as a as kids do, you'd spend a lot of time with the dog curled up in front of the fireplace, you know, sleeping, uh, playing, you know, growing up together essentially, because you are growing with the puppy as well. So, when when our dog died, it was very quick. It was, um, she was taken to the vet with some symptoms and the vet said that she had bone cancer and that the pain would be insufferable. And so the course of action was usually, um, termination, you know, put down immediately. And I wasn't even, not that I should have been, but I wasn't even part of that event. I think my parents wanted to protect me, which in retrospect, is probably not a terrible idea. But I didn't even want to see the dog because it was just so sad in a way. Um, you know, there was my best friend or, well, maybe not my best friend, but definitely a big part of the family, a big part of who I was, a big part of my life, it just gone.

And I remember playing video games or trying to, you know, tears streaking down my face, uh, just trying to trying to, uh, sort of overpower this sadness that had occurred, this loss, this emptiness inside that that had happened. And this was kind of my first experience. I I'd lost a few very old, uh, family members, but that was when I was younger and I didn't really know what it meant, and I'd never really had a deep relationship with them anyway, it's kind of like an estranged part of the family. And so this was the first kind of very close to the, uh, body, or very close to the heart, anyway, uh, loss.

Um, fast forward a few years, I I lost my father as well to an epilepsy seizure, which was not very fun either. Uh, but in a kind of a weird way, it wasn't as bad as losing my dog. Not because the magnitude of the the grief was any less, it was certainly much, much greater because obviously, with parents, you envision a life of events, a whole future together, uh, but because of what had happened as a kid, I feel like I was kind of numbed by then already, kind of in a depressive state, which wasn't noted by the school. I'd been quite of a good student before then and, um, after my parents, well, actually, my parents divorced shortly before that, but I think the down the downturn really started with my dog dying and then a few years later, the divorce really made it a lot worse because that was the family life bubble kind of blew up in my face, so to speak. Reality hit that, you know, not everything is is is fine and dandy always. And then, of course, the the death of my father was very sad and and really, um, affected me in in ways that I can't even describe. You know, you'd have to ask people who were around me at the time to say how it affected me. Um, I definitely withheld withheld a lot of grief. I definitely kept it bottled up, and I haven't to this day probably talked enough to people about it.

Uh, I've been trying to do it more, definitely in the last decade or so, trying to open up, uh, about it, because I think if you hold in grief for too long, it's just going to destroy you. But anyway, that's just a quick backstory and and and that's kind of what set me on the path of, uh, I would call it depression, but, you know, that word is so loaded and and I'm really not happy about using it. But I was definitely in a depressive state back then. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't really doing well in school. I managed to just barely scrape through high school, just finishing with, uh, 31 points in the IB system. And I think you need 24 under certain conditions. So it wasn't a great performance. And I just kind of drifted for a couple years, did some basic jobs, tried playing poker online, which was interesting, I guess. Um, you know, I was just drifting around and and not really getting anywhere.

And this is I think the first kind of period when I was between, I would say 18 and 24, maybe, that I really considered the idea that maybe I wasn't alright, you know, as it goes. And I tried to do a lot of things, definitely talking more about the problems that I was having. I was trying to improve my relationships, trying to improve my diet, trying to find some kind of career. I, um, I moved abroad a year, I tried to do various degrees. I never really got into it and, uh, I couldn't really find out what to do. And I think this is very common for people with depression, certainly.

Um, and then it wasn't until I discovered language learning, uh, or the hobby of language learning, I should say, that I actually found some meaning in life that allowed me to, I would say, make some progress out of depression or a depressive state.

I really don't think people should call themselves depressed. Like, don't be, uh, don't I I wouldn't be naive about it. And actually, by the way, I should probably just throw in here, I'm not a doctor, so anything I say is for my own opinion entirely. And if you are feeling depressed or you have any problems in mental health, please talk to your doctor or talk to someone. There are loads of ways you can get help.

Um, I've not been the best myself to do that. But in the last decade or so, as I said, I've gotten a lot better, and I've definitely accepted that things have happened in my life that have shaped the way I am today. Um, but yeah, I don't I really don't think that calling yourself depressed is very productive. But you have to at least admit that you are feeling depressed, you know? I think there's a big difference there because depression is a label, feeling depressed is a temporary state that can be fixed with antidepressants, or it can be fixed with therapy and stuff. But once you've put yourself in the depressed box, I feel like it's so much harder to climb out.

Uh, but anyway, that's that's besides the point. So, I talked about this a few years ago in Montreal. I did a little talk, which was really a strange kind of talk. It was very liberating for me to talk about the struggles that I've been through and how language learning had helped with that.

On the other hand, it was also sort of weird to talk about such a serious topic to a group of people who are interested in learning, you know, German cases or something. These are all language learners. So, that was definitely weird, but I feel like the reception to that talk was was immensely good and and and the reaction was extremely powerful. Uh, so I think it it did the job. And if if I could have improved the life of of just one person in the audience, I I am extremely happy of of what I did. Even though it is it is it is not dangerous, it is scary to put yourself out there in that way. But I feel like we have to be honest. And you know, it also creates some problems for me because a lot of people really commend me for talking about my problems so much. They're like, "Oh, Chris, we see you struggling with learning Russian. And we really appreciate that because we struggle as well," some people say to me. And I'm thinking, well, that's great. But if my content that gets the most reception is the one where I struggle, then how can I ever succeed as a language learner? That's kind of the a funny part. But I think eventually, when I do succeed in in things, I'm obviously sharing that as well. So hopefully you will get the full picture and not just not just the bad times.

Um, so why is mental health and language learning kind of a an interesting mix? Well, I think that for me, language learning gave me a goal and a and a a progression that I could follow. You know, I didn't know any Russian five years ago. Now I speak it reasonably well. Okay, maybe not great, but I speak some and I can watch clips and understand the gist of it. I can read news articles and get what they're talking about, which is completely night and day. But most importantly, it shows a progression. And if you're in a depressive state or you're struggling, sometimes it can be hard to see the positives, and these small wins or improvements certainly help with that. So, that's why I think language learning is a great hobby.

The other thing is, you generally learn languages to talk to people. So, you get that social aspect, which again, if you're depressed, and I know there's lots of mental health problems, it's not just depression. There's also, um, you know, bipolar disorder, there's also many other problems that people can have. But I I'm focusing on depression because that's the one I have the most experience with myself, and I know a lot of people have problems with also. So, language learning is a great counter to depression, not only due to the progress and the social aspect, but I feel like it's also it's it's growing as a person in a whole different way. Like, if I learned how to play chess, yeah, it would be fun and it helps me beat other players. But I feel like in languages, you actually learn a real skill, a real tangible skill that can really give you experiences that you didn't even know were possible. Uh, so that that's why I think that language is a great tool against depressive states or feeling depressed.

Um, it it is rough at times. I think the people who have suffered with depression in the past or people who, uh, have episodes, it could be bipolar disorder as well. With bipolar, you get extreme, um, cyclical moods. So you get mania where you're, which is more dangerous usually, uh, because you get really hyper, hyperactive, and and you take you do insane things. But then you get like the crippling depression afterwards, which isn't much better. And unfortunately, the suicide rate is is very high. Um, in fact, for general depression, I think the suicide rate is very high. And it just saddens me a lot. Uh, luckily, I was never really, no, I I want to rephrase that. I was never even considering suicide myself. So sometimes it can be hard to emphatize, empathize, uh, emphasize, um, appreciate just how bad some people are feeling when they consider that option. But to me, it's the ultimate sadness that that they see that as the best option. Not only because of what it does to them, obviously, you know, ending what could have been a beautiful, uh, productive life, um, with amazing creations or inventions or friendships or, uh, it doesn't even matter what, but but then you also leave behind, you know, the family in in complete, uh, disarray and and and your legacy is just destroyed. Uh, so for me, that's the ultimate sadness.

And if I can do anything like if if you're listening to this and and you're feeling a little bit bad, but you you don't have you don't want to talk to like a your doctor or your psychologist. You know, you feel free to call me anytime or email me. Um, I I really don't mind and I I'd love to help if if there's anything I can do for you, uh, to make you feel a little bit better, because there's always hope, you know? There's always something you can do. Uh, there's always something you can achieve. If nothing else then, you know, learn languages and and and travel the world. I feel like that's a pretty good backup plan. Even though I'm not going to become I'm not going to become a famous actor or a comedian or anything, uh, but I might be able to travel the world and learn a couple of languages along the way, which is a pretty damn good second, you know?

So, it is a really tough, uh, topic, I must admit. It is deep. And I that's the other problem that I have with this topic is that the the focus on it is important. And I must say, just getting back to the cyclical aspects, I do feel some elements of of cyclical, um, ups and downs. But I think that's very normal. Um, I think everyone has their bad days. But I I was having a particularly bad day yesterday and today also, which is why I decided I had to record this episode, because it it just made sense. You know, originally I wanted to get them out on Mondays, but yesterday I was procrastinating, which was Monday. And I was not feeling very well, I hadn't slept very well, had a bit of a neck pain, you know, all these things were just kind of crumbling up on me. And I was second-guessing my career choices. I was second-guessing what I was doing with actual fluency, um, you know, providing content to you guys out there.

And today I was not feeling much better, uh, which is interesting because I I just had a a family member visit and it was a great weekend. It it really was and we got a lot of stuff done, a lot of socializing, a lot of chilling, you know, it was a lot of very relaxed weekend. But I I feel like sometimes the worst days come right after the good days. So maybe we need to be a little bit more, um, anticipating of of the the fact that the the bad days can come and how to approach them. And you know, when I say bad days, they're today they're not that bad at all. It's it's I think it's equivalent of people being tired of their job or something. So I'm not going to not going to equate how I feel today or or yesterday with someone in deep depression, deep clinical depression who is having, you know, seriously dark thoughts and and on antidepressants or anything, because I'm nowhere near that level anymore. Thank God. Uh, but it's important to say that I don't feel great all the time, and I don't think I ever will because, you know, I think, as I said before, these cyclical swings are incredibly human. And if we're happy all the time, you know, what is what is the new happy then? What is the new sad?

Um, so I want to keep doing it. I want to keep going keep progressing as a person and, you know, just, um, do my best in in spreading awareness. And hopefully we can help save some people, help some people get out of their slumps and, uh, keep growing as people as well.

Um, I wanted to also talk a little bit about practical steps you can take if you are feeling or suffering from mental health problems or you're feeling feeling down in a depressive-like state and you still want to learn languages, but you feel like you can't do it because it's just it's too overwhelming, you know, it's it's too hard. And I definitely agree that that feeling is is quite, uh, evident because learning a language is a massive task, no matter how you look at it. And the kind of the way to get to fluency in a in a language is to put in consistent effort. But if you're feeling depressed then one of the hardest things is to have a routine or, you know, have energy to do things that aren't completely essential. You nap a lot, you don't sleep very well. Uh, you might have a really bad diet. Uh, there might be loads of problems that are causing you to have low energy or low motivation for actually learning languages.

What I would say is the most important thing is never to be too hard on yourself. And this is definitely something that I'm struggling with and I have always been struggling with. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I I set ridiculous, um, expectations of myself. But I've always found with languages, my philosophy hasn't changed much since I started a couple of years ago. And that was, if you keep learning a language, there is no way you can fail learning a language because you're always learning, you know? If you think about it, I'm still learning English. You're probably still learning your native language or your your second best language, because there are always going to be words and phrases and dialects and accents that we've never even heard of. So we still need to keep going. And that's why we're never done learning. And if we're never done learning, how can we have failed learning a language? Some people say to me, I tried to learn French, but I couldn't do it. And I was like, well, why are you not still learning it? You're just, you know, or maybe maybe I should have been more supportive and said, "No, no, you're still learning French. You've just taken a really long break between sessions, you know?" Because I really think that's the key. One of the things I said earlier on with my Russian, well, to be fair, I also said I was going to learn in three months, which was complete nonsense. But one of the clever things I said was, if I don't stop learning, I will never fail. I'll just be along the way. And of course you want to learn, you know, faster than 20 years, uh, hopefully. But I think when you're suffering from mental health problems or concentration problems, the best is to just do as little as possible and just be sure to do a little bit whenever you can.

So, for instance, I wasn't really too keen on recording this podcast, but I I told myself how important it was, first of all. That's an important point. And second of all, I just said to myself, turn on the mic and just say whatever comes to mind. I didn't plan this episode. I didn't write down a script or anything because I felt like this topic is too important to do a a rehearsal of. And maybe that's kind of a a weird point. But I just feel like if I don't say exactly what I mean, exactly what comes from the heart at the at the time it comes, then this episode would have been a little bit constructed and I I didn't want that to happen. But anyway, it did help my procrastination because obviously I wasn't thinking, okay, how can I record 20 segments or 20 points that I want to get across. I was simply saying, turn on the mic, start talking. And if there's anything we can all do, it's talking. So, that that's one of my practical tips. Just keep going. And it doesn't matter how little you do, as long as you do a little bit.

So, for instance, a a hack that's been very useful for people is to set yourself micro goals. So if you have a textbook, if you're learning French, get your French textbook and say to yourself, I'm going to read a page a day. And that is a ridiculously small goal that when you think about it, it seems almost silly, like, why would I get the book and just read a page? But that's exactly the point. Some days you will read that page and you'll be like, "Oh, I can't deal with any more French today." And that's absolutely fine, you've done your goal. But other days you're just going to be like, okay, I've read a page, and, um, now I'm gonna now I'm gonna, is it still running? Yeah. And now I'm gonna read a couple more pages, because you've you've got the book from the bookshelf. And you might as well continue to read a couple pages. Uh, so that's what I would say.

And obviously try and join up with as many meetups as you can, as many events, like the Polyglot Gathering was incredible for me, because it showed me the real life faces and and people that were doing what I wanted to do. And they really gave me inspiration and hope for for that I could do it as well. And they were very supportive. And it's very scary, don't get me wrong. To this day, I still get extremely nervous when I go to these events where there are lots of strangers that I don't know. Obviously, I wouldn't know them, otherwise they wouldn't be strangers. But you know what I mean. And even people I know, actually. I've got quite a bit of, um, I'm quite shy in public, a bit of social anxiety at times. But, um, I think I always force myself to go to the events. And more importantly, I always force myself to go out in the sort of public, so in the, you know, the big areas, the common areas where people are meeting. And I would always try and say hi to new people that I hadn't seen before, even if even if I didn't know them or there was like loads of people I knew around, because it to me it just pushed barriers and it kind of reinforced what language learning was all about, which is making connections and learning more about the world, learning more about yourself even, uh, but also getting that social interaction.

Um, there are loads of ways you can get better as well with, um, with the depression-like states or other mental health problems. But no matter what, you know, don't don't fight these things alone. Just don't do it because it's not going to help and it's it's not going to it's not going to work. You you need to take the help that you can get. And like I said, I'm I'm happy to help. I'm not a psychiatrist, psychologist, or doctor. Uh, so anything I say, you know, can never be construed as medical advice. But please go to your GP or your physician and just, you know, talk about it. They will have programs in place. They will have, um, procedures and and sort of medicines that you can try.

Like some people have had amazing results with antidepressants that have changed their lives forever. And you don't you're not weaker because you take antidepressants, you know? You're not any less of a person, you know? That I think that's one of the biggest stereotypes or or taboos that we have in society today is that people taking antidepressants are somehow less of a person or is some kind of sign of weakness. To me, it's actually the opposite because you realize a problem that you're having and you're willing to do anything it takes to fix it or correct it.

Um, the biological version or the biological aspects of depression are quite simple, uh, clinical depression, you know, usually involves some kind of chemical imbalance in the brain. Um, of course there's lots of studies on this. So, there's no definitive answer and and the thing is there are lots of antidepressant drugs. So you might have to try a couple before you find one that really helps you. Uh, I tried two different ones. Uh, the first one didn't really do anything and I didn't really feel any different. And the second one, I didn't really get a lot of positive benefits at all, uh, but I did get a lot of negative symptoms, uh, so I had to stop that as well. And then I started to get better on my own. So I was able to step down slowly from the medication and and, uh, and do it. Like, this is a very dangerous thing, like you cannot just go cold turkey on this. And you can't like start at a really high dosage either, you know, you really need to get your doctor in on this.

But anyway, I don't want to rant forever. These episodes were not designed to be several hours long, but I just want to say that you're not alone. Definitely, that's the most important thing. Like, we're all dealing with some kind of crap out there, you know? Life is tough. It's insanely tough. But I think if you start to do better and you start to develop yourself, which I think language learning is a great kind of indicator of, then you will slowly see improvements in all areas of your life. And there are loads of other tips that work. You know, get a lot of sunlight, go out a lot, exercise is said to be very helpful. I've never been much of an exerciser myself, which might be part of the problem, I guess. Um, but yeah, of course there's lots of ways you can make it better. But I just wanted today to talk about my general position and and why language learning can really help and share some some, uh, stories here.

And, you know, when I was in my darkest hour, it was unemployment and pizzas all day and and no real friends. I had some virtual friends, but no no nothing substantial. I never went out. I was sitting in my room 16 hours a day. And now, you know, I'm I'm not exactly a Hollywood movie star with six-pack abs and millions in the bank. But I have a steady job that I'm doing really well at. I have some nice colleagues. I have some nice friends. I have my own apartment now, which is amazing. And, you know, I have my own website. I've learned a lot of Russian. I've learned a lot of other languages and I still want to keep growing and growing. So, I'm not exactly a success story, but, uh, I hope that my progress or my journey, which I'm in the middle of, on towards the right direction, can help you to maybe see some of your future potential and and try to start to realize it. And, uh, in any case, I hope that you do well, you know.

It's that's what it's all about. Language learning is not just about learning languages. I feel like it's so much more than that. And we must never forget that. And I really appreciate whoever came up with the idea of mental health week, uh, because I think the attention is just amazing, and it really opens up society to help more people. Hopefully, we can lose less people to, uh, depression-related suicide or mental health-related suicides. Um, I want I want to also thank the people at, uh, Lingotastic, Sarah and Mike. Uh, they put out a post recently about mental health as well, which sort of inspired me to do this episode and talk about it. I know that, um, that's not been easy either. They're a kid's language learning website mostly. So, them, you know, Sarah sharing this post, I think is amazing. Uh, she was sharing a few different people talking about how language learning can help in in terms of depression. So definitely go to Lingotastic.co.uk, check that out.

And, uh, until next time, enjoy language learning and keep improving. If you have any question, comment, concern, or you need my advice, help, or someone to talk to, just go to ask for ask fluency. That would be a nice domain name. Uh, go to actualfluency.com/ask and I'll accept your voice or text message, whatever. You can email me chris@actualfluency.com. That's Chris with a K. Um, my phone number is 0737-816-2858. Uh, might not always answer if you call, but, uh, if you, uh, send me a text message, I'll definitely get back to you. And, um, yeah, just, uh, keep keep up the good work and any feedback you have for me, I'm always appreciative of. And let's, uh, let's grow together.